"Little Haiti," Miami, Florida. ©theunapologeticmexican.org

THE REPORTING OPPORTUNITY AND IMMIGRATION CONFERENCE I attended May 7-9 was quite an amazing experience. There was so much information and energy and ideas and new reality crammed into such a small time and space that there is no doubt I will be mulling it over and brewing on it and coming to a full understanding of it all over the next week, at least. Within a week or two, I’ll release a special NWN video where I hope to express cinematically what I will communicate here now with images and fotos.

Without a doubt, I am extremely grateful for the chance to have attended the May 7-9 French American Foundation’s Covering Immigration: An International Media Dialogue in Miami, Florida.

I am grateful to the French-American Foundation, to the Knight Foundation, to New America Media, to La Opiñión, to Sandy Close, Claudia Nuñez, and to all the journalists and scholars who shared their wealth of expertise and experience with all of us. I am also grateful to the Miami Workers Center and the African Heritage Cultural Center in “Little Haiti” for being so welcoming to the lot of us, dropping into their midst as if tourists starving for information about their lives. I am grateful to all the service workers at the EPIC hotel (especially my own housekeeper, Helen) for being so helpful and professional at their jobs. Finally, I am happy to have made some new friends at the conference—intelligent, energetic, good-hearted, and ambitious human beings.

As usual—and this really shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone familiar with my work at this point in the game—the influence and mechanisms of race and class stood out to me and were worth noting. As I was representing both New Media and Ethnic Media (as it is called in the US…for now) I consider those elements part of my work, important parts of my observations. (Or essential parts of my milieu, I might word it, after so much company with so many very French-speaking people.)

The view from my hotel balcony

3…2…1…boom.

As you can imagine, Nezua did once again drop down some…controversial statements into the midst of the well-catered and arranged event. (Mmmmm! So well catered.) Not intending to, only speaking from my heart, and again—it ought to be clear by now to anyone with any familiarity with my subject matter that this is to be expected if you are going to ask me to observe and report on any event. Just as I did when flown to the last (as named) YearlyKos Convention in 2007. Just as I did in my doc on the DNC08 convention, the trip I took sponsored by Kenneth Cole Productions in 2008. In the case of the YearlyKos event, as this time, there were a few moments perhaps, of misunderstanding. Maybe there were a few people taking it personally as well as wondering why on earth I might head out on such a course…as if I am disappointing the Hand That Feeds.

It’s powerful, touchy stuff to talk about race and class. I also am convinced these are the conversations we absolutely need to have in this society. The pretense that these differences are not everywhere and that they do not affect everything and can be cordoned off for special conversations that don’t intrude or provoke is a dangerous one to maintain.

This doesn’t mean bringing up such topics is easy. As usual, it can be a terrifying and nearly nauseating task to take on. Because the messaging we absorb all our lives is one that screams never to bring these up in such ways. And pushing back on that inner indoctrination is not effortless.

I want to be careful not to make too big a deal out of the few arguably negative reactions that inevitably follow in these cases. Because while those seem to hit the belly harder than the positive, the truth is those are far fewer. In this case, numerous people came to me—I should note they were overwhelmingly (though not in every instance) people of color themselves—and showed me great support and thanks for bringing up the topics I did. In fact, overall, I’d say the reactions were 90% positive and unwavering in their stance on the matter.

"The Brown Contingent" is what the very fabulous Mona (Eltahawy) named us here in the hall. As such we decided it was best if we photographed ourselves stacking and otherwise doing brownish things. This moment was after my presentation and they found me, or we found each other, and talked more on the things I discussed. They were very supportive and it meant a lot.

There is no feeling quite like taking that risk, taking that leap, feeling shameful and as if in danger for doing so (a result of flouting the indoctrination and social pressure that guards against these conversations happening)—and then being immediately surrounded by people who understand exactly what you mean and give you love for taking that risk. If that were not always the case when I do these things? I imagine I couldn’t keep doing them, wouldn’t keep taking those risks. Because the nervous system usually takes a big hit when “cracking the bubble” as Sandy worded such dialogues on Sunday.

Stylish French Cat, Mona Eltahawy, Damaso Reyes, and Mizanur Rahman. This is, unfortunately, one of the worse pictures (focus-wise) I've taken in a while. Yet, the joy cannot be obscured.

Sandy Close wrote to me, in an email after the conference:

Nezua,
You added a great deal to the conference through your honesty and humility.
Thank you.

Sandy Close, Executive Director of New America Media

This brought tears to my eyes. Because in such events and speaking opportunities, I am trying my best to present these issues without aggression, but instead with a calm and centered front, and a more receptive energy. Which is a very difficult line to walk at times. For me. It is no easy feat to move surely and strongly on unsure ground, and yet remain unguarded and ready to respond with sensitivity to any lashback.

But if I can do that? It means I am growing in my craft as well as in my own skin. And that means I can be more effective in the world doing the things I do.

Of course there will also always be those who hear words on race and class as not only an affront to, but practically violent toward polite society. And if you think about it, they are right. Even when you speak those words calmly. Because polite society is another way of saying status quo. And today’s status quo is one that crushes people of color on the regular. And thus, it deserves a sort of violence. Not necessarily physical, but ideological. At least initially, to break the inertia and confidence of its arc.

So we cannot get hung up on supportive energy from all, or if everyone likes what we say. Though these affirmations from like-minded community help center my mind and push back on the inevitable doubt that tries to insert itself when you attempt to upset a standing order, destructive or otherwise.

But there is a creation happening in the midst of that destruction, as well. One of the most rewarding results of invoking these conversations, I’ve found is that it can spur further revelation or sharing of thoughts that might otherwise remain cloaked in caution. Such as after my presentation amidst the Q&A and back and forth. What a great feeling, to see that perhaps you have helped start or enable a conversation wherein people feel comfortable discussing something so important to them…and thus to the larger society and its method of informing itself in all quadrants about all quadrants.

I know I learn and feel inspired from those talks. Such as when Professor Kwong (for example) spoke of how “objective” lens shuts out many ideas, like his writing about Chinatown in ANY way that isn’t about the Chinese New Year. How he has an extremely difficult time getting any articles published if they present Chinese American culture or Chinese Americans in a way that the dominant culture (my phrase, not his) doesn’t desire to reinforce. And then Demaso jumped in and spoke about how a newsroom will miss stories and angles if “we all look the same.” And how today’s emerging Ethnic Media or the appearance of changes that facilitated the rise of Ethnic Media present a challenge to journalism. And an important one.

I think those are powerful things to be saying and discussing in such a setting as we were in. They are a boon to the future of journalism and social cohesion—not racial division as some might think. After all, as I said in my presentation, as I see it “Ethnic Media” arose because various communities felt we were not represented in the fake objectivity of the dominant culture’s media. If the larger view and conversation expands to represent all of us, that draws us back together, doesn’t it?

I like mine pulpy

I know by some reactions, as well as the fact that many whom were there will be reading my reporting on this to see both how they are portrayed and how I saw things overall that I need to clearly state a couple things.

1. I am not a traditional journalist.

Roles like mine are something new. Organically made possible and necessary by cultural realities and technological advances that won’t go away. You cannot align this image over the old blueprint. Attempting to do so will yield a distorted result.

I do not need to be warned about getting emotional or remaining Objective™ or being too “passionate.” What I do relies on my feelings and third eye and heart and all those other things that are not to be found in the AP Stylebook. I am a new media journalist. Or a writer/activist/artist/reporter who began as a counselor and filmmaker and melds it all together. Find a word or phrase that works. The exact title doesn’t matter to me right now. What I do know is that I have a function and I know my path by feeling it out intuitively. While I was trained minimally by MTV in NYC as prep for my year-long gig repping Oregon, I did not go to J-School. I don’t need to for what I do. I do need to honestly report what I see, not try to hoodwink anyone, do my very best to be right on any numbers or facts that I can. But also to employ other senses…ones I think as a human society (in the USA) we are long taught are ephemeral, unimportant, unreliable, and dangerous. I happen to feel that this overall judgment on the less tangible senses of the human creature is extremely dangerous to our existence. At least if it is the only approach it sure is.

So. That’s what I do. Please frame all I offer you in that light. Don’t try to evaluate it by an old filter. Through that mesh, what I do will seem all wrong. As if you drank a cup of orange juice but were expecting to feel milk run over your tongue.

2. It’s not about you.

This one I offer to those who feel hurt by anything I say on race and class and culture. It’s not about you! In fact, I only ran into one person whose energy I found rather disturbing, as he raised his voice talking about how it was appalling and wrong to “smear” FAIR and CIS; that younger reporters are fine, but they should be “trained” (do you see a leash in your mind?); that we ought take sympathy on Arizona for passing SB 1070 and not boycott, and so on. He was an older gentleman and I understand that he comes from a completely different world, or uses a wholly different lens that I do. I disagree entirely with him. But feel no need to demonize him. I feel he simply doesn’t understand certain currents or angles or viewpoints that are alien to his experience.

My larger point is that my comments on systemic patterns that happen to be symbolized and manifested at any given moment by concrete happenings are still not about individuals. Or their hearts. Or their intentions. Or their goodness. I know it can be possible to mix critique of systems up with criticism of a person. We are all capable of making that mistake from time to time.

I just think we need to talk about these things. I must trust each human can deal with hurt feelings in the end. I know I’ve had to. It’s up to me to grow past that. That’s life, eh? Just as I would have to respond to those who have said at various times that “being called racist is the most damaging thing that can happen to a writer/journalist/pol/person” with “No, the damages of racism upon communities and souls and bodies….that is the most damaging thing. Please don’t redirect the camera in that way…that angle misses the big picture.”

Rolling into Miami!

Before you go shipping that nitro…

I am aware that I am potentially annoying you by talking all around the event at this point, while not yet having talked about it but bear with me if you will—even though my regular readers are probably saying “Why is he re-explaining all this? We know his take on it, we won’t misinterpret! Enough disclaimers!” But there will be people reading this post who are not used to the way we discuss these things. And in this case, I’d do all I can do avoid misunderstandings.

Outside the Hotel

Here’s another surprise for ya: I agreed to not post my video on the event until I showed it to the organizers. This is something I never do. I figure if you have me appear to speak and know what my work is about (and if you don’t, then you really should have researched), then it is my right to tell truthfully what I saw.

But I did agree to having the video pre-approved anyway. I was approached before I left by two very cool gents and had no real issue with agreeing to that. Honestly, I think I am partially at fault for perhaps inspiring some anxiety about how I was going to present my findings. But I would make clear that by saying repeatedly on Saturday “Just wait til you see the footage,” it was only my way of pushing back on the couple voices that insisted my views were off/inappropriate. It wasn’t “Oh wait til I drop this bomb on you,” it was simply me saying “I cannot argue this point here and now. I’d much rather express what I experienced with cinema. It will simply make things clearer to you.” But I think perhaps the “just wait til you see the footage, then you’ll get it” was misread as something more threatening. Again, given the view that some have that being called racist is something terribly damaging, I can understand anxiety around this. But the truth is, I received different responses in some cases than some others did. This only reinforces the things I am saying. So my point was, “you won’t understand the full truth of what I am clumsily saying here until you can view for yourself those responses.”

Dinner on Friday

The Two Gents said no, they didn’t think I would mischaracterize people’s comments; they trusted the “professionalism of my approach.” And I sure appreciate that.

Because yes, I know these journalists are all professionals with careers and I am not out to harm any person. I know aside from my repeating “Just wait, then, until you see the video,” I—as THE BLOGGER—am simply not predictable, am not bound to conventions in place, am my own editor, and so it is easy for people to feel threatened by what I might write or create.

But while I certainly am a small fish in the scheme of things, I take the power that my words and film might have seriously. I do feel a certain responsibility. I do not believe in hurricaning through lives and saying anything you want in the service of a personal mission…actions involving messaging and communications and film (as they have the potential to impact society exponentially) must be weighed carefully.

Also, the practical reality is even if you are telling truths the world needs, a career or opportunities can be destroyed (mine) or at least greatly harmed if powerful or well-monied people who have reached out a hand to you feel they were burned.

These are tricky things to weigh. But in the end of course I always value my responsibility to the human race to be truthful about what I see and feel. Because my eyes, heart, and belly and mind were given to me by the highest authority. And nobody here on earth supersedes that imperative. And if my career in some way needs to take a hit in that service, okay. I am calm about that. [Update: Some wording strikes me reading back and I know why, and I know why it is not so hard for me to prioritize telling my own truth...it's because my blog is not my career. It is what I do because I must! My career is art.)

However, I'm not worried about the approval. Because as I said...this is not about individuals. And to make my points I need single out nobody. And surely they are not interested in censoring my discussing race and class and cultural divides entirely! And certainly not when it comes to immigration! These things are definitely all interwoven.

And if they don't want me to discuss even that much, well. I'll peel that orange when I come to it.

©theunapologeticmexican.org

Gaze of the Other

One thing that strikes me in these situations when you drop into a setting to connect with the reality of those who live there, is the differences in class and positioning in the world. Maybe that is because you approach attempting to connect. This is what makes me videotape the lavish buffets that always appear at conventions and such (or often do.) That’s what made me feel more at home with the (latina and latino) NYU janitors and cleaning ladies than almost all of my peers there. I simply cannot be unaware of different racial, cultural, or socioeconomic signifiers and positions.

The Stylish French Cat (on left in the “brown contingent” photo) spoke to me about his similar sensation when sitting in Starbucks with his interviewees. There was “something off” about that particular setting and situation and contrast to him.

Another tall, well-spoken intelligent seeming white cat (forgive me, bro, I forgot your name) spoke to me in the lobby of the hotel on our way to dinner, as well. He mentioned my words the day before on our walking into these settings in such a way—a way where class privilege and signifiers shriek out of a gap. “It’s not the ideal situation,” he admitted.

First Course at Gabbiolo

What to do? I certainly am not saying reporters should get blisters in the sun and arrive with dusty hair and hungry! Nor that these conventions that are purposely comfortable in order to buffet the human spirit a bit from the weariness of the travel we make (many from out of the country) and the long, busy days should be held at motels or in tents, or anything. I know I sure wasn’t lamenting, refusing, or feeling shame over the five course meal at Gabbiolo’s, complete with fantastic wine and dessert! In fact, I’m still salivating over it.

I am simply pointing out that the disparity in watcher and watched distorts the information gathered. And this mostly becomes dangerous when that is not acknowledged in the reportage itself, in some way. And thus the danger of false “objectivity” which never says “Here I am, with my particular lens, at this particular time, and thus am seeing this particular angle.” The Objective™ voice pretends to be the godvoice, to be neutral and not situated on any particular piece of land or from any particular era and thus lacking a viewpoint that can be evaluated and separated from the text itself.

Stylish French Cat’s example was “Africa Experts” who were there one time, “or who have a neighbor who was in Africa once.” The Objective Façade (damn, I am hitting all the French words today, yeah!) brings a bias, erases the serial number, and calls it Truth.

Ethnic Media in Europe and the United States

The conference documents themselves stated that the US is “further ahead” in terms of “Ethnic Media.” It is taken more seriously, more widely supported, and  is more legitimized. The Europeans themselves are aware of this. On the other hand, one or two seemed to yet grapple with the very voice/tone/angle/”passion” that has led this to be so! At moments, it may be a hard bridge to gap, in such a short time. The one between the US and the UK, or France, for example. But I think we did pretty well, anyway. I can only imagine how, for example, my voice—already considered confrontational in the USA!—comes across to them, if Ethnic Media is much less part of the conversation where they normally operate. So in that sense, I appreciate that we did as well as we did.

I really enjoyed the French people I spoke to. There’s always been something about their way of avoiding as many hard divisions that we have in the US that really appeals to me. Their newspaper front pages are, apparently, often a melange (ooh, “melange”!) of departments all weighing in on one topic. (Possibly where Huffpost got their “Big News Page” idea for various hot topics.) Rather than walled off, isolated columns appearing in the same area. In my very limited experience of their literature (translated to English), the “French” way of writing and thinking on page often wanders and free associates and takes you through an experience, through the thoughts until you have become filled with the idea and story that the author wished to impart to you. As opposed to a tightly structured, tightly-contoured, and arranged series of parts. Is this making sense? I am interested in minds that see this type of movement and mezcla as viable. It feels like freedom to me.

One of the things I am attempting to do by drawing out all the nuance is avoid implying or giving the impression to anyone that this trip and this experience were not useful. Nor that the money was not wisely spent, nor that other journalists should not attend if they are lucky enough to have the opportunity. Exactly the opposite. I feel these types of discussions galvanize thought and spur progress. And I have no hesitancy in saying I felt damn honored to be amongst all these professionals.

I only offer my experience so that if desired, the organizers can think on it and use it to make the next one even better…at least to include the awareness of this dynamic, or more discussion in such directions. But again, I did not operate under any such seemingly altruistic agenda. I simply spoke what I saw and felt.

Karla Gomez-Escamilla of Univision exchanges looks with me as we are given an unexpected post-discussion/ pre-dinner speech about not letting our 'passion' or what we heard in the field get in the way or overshadow our journalism on these topics.

Objectivity: the Man Behind the Curtain

“You don’t know how he’s gonna hit you,” said Mona (she’s the one flashing the peace sign in group shot above), about the so-called “Objectivity Lens” of much Mainstream Media. He’s a man behind a curtain. Won’t show his face. “That’s why I left that world,” she said. I’m tired of that type of objectivity. “I want to tell you how I feel and how I see things,” she laughed, loudly, with what I perceived as a damn enchanting British accent.

And I encouraged her to please do so, please keep on. Mona is a spirit-filled, wise, powerful voice and she’s shaking things up, informing the world, and shattering Muslim stereotypes left and right, every time she speaks on her community.

Stylish French Cat said The Objective Lens is a way of keeping YOU OUT. “No! This is objective! No room for you!” he laughed, dramatically holding both his hands up.

Professor Kwong mentioned how the typical gatekeepers would only allow articles from him that prop up their own visions of Chinese culture. He said the “Objective” model is one that functions to exclude. And that the objectivity model is a misleading one.

Mizanur said “I don’t mind even FOX news having an agenda. I don’t have a problem with expansion of the menu. More choices, to me, is good.”

Karla Gomez-Escamilla of Univision (I repronounce the way she says it from time to time in the back of my mind…oonee-vis-YON!) and I met at the first breakfast and hit it off right away. Over the next two days, we spoke a lot about these things, and as she is a working TV reporter, I’ll keep all her words off the record. But we spoke of all the currents in play, and speaking for myself, I’m glad she was there. There were moments her presence—and what I knew to be her background and opinions and experience—were a touchstone of safety and comfort. Even without words. After all, at this event I was—and even called as much over and over—”The Blogger.” The potential for me to have been isolated, given not only that aspect, but also in what I kept talking about, was high. Again, I have a lotta love for all the friends I met who made sure to surround me with support, both days.

Chicken Plus!

In my presentation, I spoke of the MSM as being ethnic media in its own right! Just not the brown contigent of Ethnic Media. A different ethnicity. It is the lens that pretends it is no lens. It is the invisibled lens. You’ve heard me speak about this in years past as The White Lens.

I spoke of my ideas on Ethnic Medias’ strengths—prefaced by the warning that I can only speak for what I know of Ethnic Media. Not all “ethnic media.” Also adding that race and ethnicity and culture matters are obviously unique to each country and that country’s history. I said that communities of color have longer memories when it comes to history. Here in the US, we factor in slavery, the Chinese Exclusion Act, Wounded Knee, General Sheridan, the US invasion into Mexico, the CIA interference in Latin America, or the railroads and how they came about when we speak of the echoes that still play out in oppressions and laws and politics today. Etc.

I said that Ethnic Media, in many cases, would know right away there is something problematic about dropping off a van of mostly white—or simply outsiders—into a community of color and then prompting that community to reveal the divisions they have between them and other communities of color. Ouch. Which was our assignment, in essence. To fish out the positive interactions they have with new immigrant communities, as well as the conflicts. [UPDATE: I tried to leave this out, but doing so leaves a question mark as to the strength of my reaction. The first day we were given our papers explaining the assignment there was only the directive that we should discover the conflicts. That completely weirded me out, and I was glad to see when they handed out updated papers the next day, the assignment was much more even-handed, and was changed to the version I posted above: to find out the positive "as well as" the negative. So if anything, those planning this adjust and self-examine quickly, and clearly are aware enough to be on guard for those kinds of biases. I felt better after the edit, but still found the entire scene odd. I also brought up to the group that I noticed this edit, and was happy to see the change.]

There was some pushback to the things I said to the group. I know I didn’t word everything as perfect as I would have liked. I know, too, though, that the process of interacting with free speech and getting to the bottom of these things will be imperfect and at times messy. And yes, we must be careful not to be essentialist or to overgeneralize.

The Big Cheese. (And Mizanur.)

I feel it is far more perilous to pretend these dynamics are unimportant.

What should also be made clear is that I was not informed of this practicum part of the experience until after I had agreed to speak on a panel! I had no idea the trip would involve my going out and into a community for a couple/few hours and interviewing people. If it was in the documents they sent me, I missed that part (very possible). Regardless, that part came as a total surprise. As it was, though, Miami was Part TWo of a two part (International) symposium, the first of which was in Paris. (Damn! Missed that one!) So everyone but me, pretty much, knew we’d have the reporting component.

I also loved the field trip and am very glad it was, indeed, a part of the trip.

Sandy Close of New America Media said on the penultimate day of the symposium “I always learn the most when I am uncomfortable.”

And that’s why I’d never want anyone to draw the conclusion on this event that it was not supremely educational and worthwhile, despite ripples in the smoothly-ironed fabric of our planned dialogues. Because part of what happened—conflict and all—was part of what needs to happen and is happening everywhere.

As Mizanur said to me, this is the way news is trending, like it or not.

Maybe that is because the Objective Model was never objective to begin with and has in fact been a detriment to justice and democracy.

We were warned to apply sunscreen liberally. Here are some folks putting some on before we took our field trip.

You deconstruct…but do you create?

The gentleman who was speaking up hard for anti-immigrant extremist groups FAIR and CIS also said that writers like myself, bloggers like myself (he did not mention me by name, but to tell you the truth, many things he said might have been interpreted as almost direct responses to some of my writing and videos) who “go off into their own tribal enclaves” are dangerous. He sounded very worried, to be honest.

I am not dangerous to him. At least that is not my intention, nor do I put any energy into harming him or wishing him ill.

Again, though, if we go back to the Polite Society idea, you can see how voices like mine (voices not “trained” and reined in to the standing order and conventions) might be perceived as dangerous.

But I am not here to simply deconstruct or challenge or as some say about us “ethnic media” types, to complain. I see this type of writing more as…sweeping sand and clutter and debris away from the floor so you can see where the weak spots are. So you can travel safer, faster, and truer. I am certainly not saying I see all, or have all the answers. Which is why Ethnic Media is very often associated with community, with the need to connect with each other and support our communities, and from which political action is basically inseparable. This consciousness and tradition is passed down in our communities from generation to generation.

When I dropped into the African Heritage Cultural Center on Saturday, I had little urge to either cleverly or directly inquire to them—as someone from outside their community with only an hour or so to spare to build up any rapport—regarding the conflicts between US-born African Americans and Haitian immigrants or Cubans. I am not saying that these conflicts do not exist!

What you don't see is that the moment after I surprised him with a lens in his face, we grinned at each other and shook hands without uttering a word.

But I am saying…why? Why go in there and try to get at that? In this short time? What is the interest there, first? And I have to say, I steered away from that for the most part. I am glad the organizers were sensitive to this, to the fact that the conversation or day might go otherwise. And they did remind us that those questions were only suggestions before they sent us out on our trips.

Though I did, a few times, attempt the questions, anyway. And what I found—it’s what I expected to find, even though I may have been assuming too much by extrapolating from how the activist/community-oriented Ethnic Media blogger-types I am familiar with are—these people wanted, instead, to speak of how their solidarity crossed over divisions in communities of color. They talked to me about how we are all in this together. About how we are not settling for the conditions in which communities of color find themselves, and are fighting it. About how nobody is illegal, and if someone is, then its everyone but the indigenous. They were mostly black, Haitian, Latino, and they radiated and demonstrated such love and acceptance of each other and positive energy that I was swept up and was reminded of my days at Centro Cultural de la Raza where as a young chico, I first remember feeling that community love.

Love and Community

That’s what it’s about.

I’m not saying there are not tensions that need to be explored! Especially when they erupt into harm or violence on one or more of a group of people. But like at least one of my interviewees, I feel that tension we are chasing is very often exacerbated or initiated by Arpaio types. By Brewer types. By Hayworth N McCain types. And that the focus ought to be on them, and the big border lovers who do NOT see us all as together here, and on those with far more power in the system who would ferret others out by their accent, or their otherliness. Or put the glare not on the poor housing and impoverished conditions they live in quite as much as on those who operate in this world and make so many rundown areas possible by their own massive and disproportionate siphoning of wealth.

I know at least one person at the conference felt that this focus was a weakness of Ethnic Media. Okay. I won’t argue that. I disagree entirely. But I have nothing to gain by arguing it if you don’t get that.

More importantly, the focus is better served being on positivity. A constant broadcast of fear, scarcity ideology, terror, and division resonates in the collective heart. The focus ought to be, sometimes if not almost always, on the ties that connect, on the common causes, on the strength and bridges built between commonly marginalized communities. On the love and power there that not even the most objective person could deny feeling, even as but a stranger invited into the bosom of another community’s presence.

________________________________

This was my rundown of all the cultural and social elements of the event and setting. Soon I’ll post again on the info and insight that I gained through sitting in the presentations and hearing the findings and teachings of scholars and journalists. Both these worlds coming together reveal more, I feel, than only one or the other.

]]> http://theunapologeticmexican.org/elmachete/2010/05/10/miami-debriefing-the-intersections-of-race-class-journalism-activism-croissants-and-reality/feed/ 6 http://theunapologeticmexican.org/elmachete/2010/03/23/indivisible-thoughts-on-the-immigration-rally-in-dc/ http://theunapologeticmexican.org/elmachete/2010/03/23/indivisible-thoughts-on-the-immigration-rally-in-dc/#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 23:31:49 +0000 nezua http://theunapologeticmexican.org/elmachete/?p=6989

DESPITE my many misgivings on how What-May-Become-CIR is shaping up, the energy at the rally on Sunday in DC was undeniably strong, fresh, vibrant, positive, and loud. More like a loving block party, concert and picnic than a “march,” the National Mall hosted hundreds of thousands of people supporting our fixing the broken immigration system. I’ll have a video for you (the next News With Nezua video) that I am going to use to convey some of that energy to you.

Because there are separate aspects of any “cause” or political issue. Which is what makes the whole thing so frustrating sometimes. We all forget, we all remember, are reminded, when we talk it over. We begin pushing for the very best we can, as we should. Ideals lead the way. Then some others get angry and say that the first group is being too purist, or non-pragmatic. Compromises must be made. Then your undocumented friend says those compromises are cruel and unneeded and unnecessary. And then another undocumented friend says, hey—I’m willing to make those concessions. Then another citizen friend says but I am not willing to have a biometric Social Security card, and we shouldn’t let that be ushered in using this issue. Then someone else passes a link about a protest or march action and then someone else says isnt there more to making change than protests, than making noise? And then you attend a massive gathering like this in the absence of any movement from the white house after all the beautiful speeches made to la comunidad and you remember that every gathering is not about making an immediate change. Or rather, more comes out of something like this event than just definitive legislative action.

Sometimes you need to be around people who feel as you do, who look a bit like you, or have a name like you—especially when those things are under attack by various groups and voices in our nation. Especially when you are out there working that activismagic-whatever you do, making your heart visible and evident in the world, trying to chip away at wrongness because that gives you a lust for life, that makes you feel you have done more than take from the world. And that good things can happen, and that you are not alone, and that you stand with hundreds of thousands of other people. And that even though the people who would stab the very balloons out of the hands of mimes may be given too loud a voice at times, on the other hand, the people who know that justice is a right all humans have can gift each other with a very powerful weapon to place in the arsenal. And the event had a lot of that energy. It was very comforting to know that with so many Latinos around, even if we were dissimilar in many ways, we were standing together at the moment for things that go so often unchampioned or unmentioned by the most powerful voices in media, if not altogether slurred and derided. We were, for a handful of hours, a city of solidarity and flava and positivity.

And at the same time, all those aforementioned currents that can sometimes complement and sometimes contradict, were in play.

I saw a number of people who work this scene, the regulars, the activists (undocumented and citizens), some org people, some new media people…you get to know each other after a while! We always see each other at these events. Our feelings on what is right and what is possible overlap in places. And not in others. And always varying at different times, perhaps, depending on how the issue is playing out in Congress or on TV or in the White House. And to see that weave of multiplicity on the issue just in that group of people gives you a peek into how tough it has to be to move legislation with so many people in government, many whom are not just sometimes at variance with, but directly opposed to each other’s value systems and desires and ideologies, and many who don’t even deal in good faith, who are simply making decisions on cynical and power-based motives. It’s a wonder anything gets done. And it explains why so many of us on the Left are beaming sunshine out of our blogholes because the White House just passed insurance reform that still leaves us with a health care system that should hide in shame compared to that of many “less powerful” nations—not to make light of the very big deal that is this bill being passed, nonetheless….

One of these activist type friends I know—he is involved with one of the current orgs that speaks for/stands for/benefits from the Latino&Immigration type issues—was a bit bitter about the event. It was “cynical,” he said. “Why aren’t they telling people” that this is a big hoo-rah event when in reality, Schumer and others are lining up a nasty little deal before they even consider trying to sell it; a deal that involves National biometric ID cards/SS cards, and passing an English test (who says you have to speak English in the USA, we still don’t have any “official language,” after all!), admitting shame and criminality in being here at all (I’m still waiting to hear the US govt explain the reneging on NAFTA as well as many other actions that contribute to global inequality and spur immigration in the first place!) and blowing more money on a militarized and harmful border mentality and weaponry/wall, as well as funding (in part) Felipe Calderón’s drug war that has claimed over 17,000 lives by now. And I understand what he is saying. These things are not acceptable, in reality. At least not to me as a citizen. And I do live here, and have to live here for now. And so I feel I have a right—while not speaking for anyone else—to take part in pushing, shoving, nudging the world closer to where I feel it should be. Beginning here.

At the same time I could have said “Okay. Fair enough. But if that is cynical…then why don’t you tell that truth through the org you are attached to?” Because he does not, either. Nor do they. They stand for good things, too. But not the whole truth. Does anyone? Does anyone think the whole truth stands a chance in this nation? And yet you can’t really aim any lower and have too much self-respect. Because you know invariably that ideal will fall short, being channeled through an imperfect vessel—be it your own humanity, or Congress.

So it’s never cut and dry. We all have our interests, we all have to make a living, we all have to make compromise, we all have our hands stained from rowing in the Empire Ship, and even in those moments we truly want to do only good, only the right thing, that still doesn’t mean we’ll agree on what exact shape that Thing will be. We come from different places. We stand in different places. We’ve had different beginnings. I’m still personally trying to learn how to be true to my own vision, and at the same time make room for yours. In a way, I guess at heart, that is what the USA is supposed to be about. (At least judging by the mantras children are pressured to speak to the flag in school.) Lately I feel we are not being too successful at making that vision happen. But maybe as a nation born squalling and bloody and steeped in lust and reverence for property, as well as violence and exploitation of the Other, we just take smaller steps than those that satisfy me right away.

What is there to do but to keep putting energy toward such an idea, and toward fighting the good fight?

Which is why I thank Reform Immigration for America very much for making my trip possible. I appreciate the help in getting there, and the no-strings freedom to report the way I report. Speaking of which, I have to get back to editing the video. Meanwhile, here’s a slideshow of the fotos I took. Maybe they will give you an idea, for now, of what I’m talking about….

[An Introduction to my Presentation at Kirwan Institute]

I am Joaquín. When I was eight years old, I changed my name to Jack. I didn’t intend it as a political statement, of course. I just wanted to fit in with everyone else.

With everyone else in the suburbs of Maryland, that is. That’s where my second family lived at the time the court proceedings were finalized for my legal adoption. My father, a politically-minded poet in his late 20s by then, was gone. Gone to the West Coast; gone to the South. Gone to the jungles of Chiapas, machete and pen in hand. He was meeting with ancestors and kin; photographing and writing about the Mayan Indians.

And gone from our lives. He and my mother (she’d say) had been Too Young to work things out. No doubt that was true. My mother was a Jewish girl from New York, and my father a Chicano vato from El Paso. They met on the campus of UCLA in the summer of 1968. I’d not begin to understand until much later the size of the cultural gulf that surely stood between them, as well.

At eight, I imagined I’d become anew. Cast away those things attached to my old life. It was a new time, a new life. I had a new name. And I could be a new self. I’d learn one day that changing who you are is not as simple as changing your name. But for the moment, I thought with these changes to birth certificate and social security card and school attendance sheet, I might finally fit in.

The feeling that I didn’t fit in had grown in me for a few reasons. One was my name. A name that on the East Coast in 1978, was an anomaly. A name that defies the rules of the English alphabet, and so, one that many people will mispronounce. My teachers were some of them. It was a name my peers would either fail to remember, or would in many cases ridicule. In class after class of Brians and Joshuas; of Lauras and Jennifers; of Matts and Tonyas, you learn something from being the one with the weird name. You begin to infer. You understand that you are apart from the others in more than just one way. With every souvenir license plate keychain in every gift shop that ignores your name; with every approach of  roll call from a new teacher and every introduction to a new person bringing dread to your belly, you are reminded you are Other.

By itself, who knows how much it would matter to have a name rare among your peers. And if it were a difference not attached to the many others that would not vanish from my eyeline over time, I imagine not much. Were this the only example of how I tried to conform to the dominant culture’s desire to eradicate my culture and history—and self—it would hardly matter. Here, it serves well as a symbol. And isn’t that what a name is for?

A name can tell us who we are. It can tell us where we come from, who came before us, and our place in today’s society. It can even offer glimpses into the future. A name will not always contain so many secrets, but mine did. And it had been left for me to discover this. I didn’t know it then—when I rejected it in favor of the plainest, shortest, easiest-to-pronounce and least-Spanish name I could think of—but it was as if I had been left a pendant with a treasure map to my own history and legacy inscribed upon it. I would some day grow to be very grateful to reach into my dusty pocket and find that map.

My father chose the name Joaquín from a poem written shortly before my birth; a poem important to the Mexican American community. The dramatic narrative foretold a confusion I was already experiencing as a boy, and portended a strength I’d need later.

I look at myself
And see part of me
Who rejects my father and my mother
And dissolves into the melting pot
To disappear in shame.

The name my father gave me tied me to my culture in the strongest possible way—by both naming me after Corky Gonzales’ quintessential Chicano as well as describing a path I was already walking. Come the day I turned to re-read the book my father gave me as a teen, I’d find my own past; my own troubled reflection, there in its passages. And I’d understand a bit more of those things that hence had only flitted about on the periphery of my vision.

Maybe I tried to vanish into the American Dream. Repurpose my outline. Maybe I wanted to become just like you; just like him; just like the boy in the poster, the one on the screen, the hero. I wanted to be the Fair one, the Right one, the Good one…the white one. I did not want to be the Mexican one. The one whom the world around me insisted was, instead, the Dark one, the Little one, the Bad one. The Criminal. The Servant. The Thief.

Culture is powerful. Media is powerful. For much of my life, the relationship was one-way. The current of news, opinion, metaphor, imagery, and storytelling was aimed at me. There was simply no way to wield that mechanism. The thick tongue of the dominant culture sang its songs into my mind and I sang along.

I thought that without a Spanish accent, divested of a Spanish name, and with lighter skin than my father, I could walk away from both my blood and what the world seemed to think of my blood. I was wrong. This cannot be done. You are who you are. Your family is your family. Your blood remains your blood. And whether you call it corazón or something else, your heart remains your own heart.

But I was right to understand that there were and are strong currents in place. Undertow that buoys a few, drowns many, and directs the rest into a preferenced route. We call the flow of information, evaluation, entertainment, iconography, story, and slant that is our collective conversation and counsel “the mainstream.” And depending on your relationship to it, you may be able to swim to your desired destination without much struggle. Or you may find yourself grasping for purchase and gasping for air.

At 18, I took my name back, and perhaps that was the first concrete step toward making my own path; toward standing strong against the tide that batters us daily. I’ve not looked back since then.

Because as the hate crimes perpetrated against Latinos rose higher and higher; as the Right Wing created a culture of fear against the US’ Southern border and all below; as conservative pundits repeatedly reinforced revulsion of the Spanish language and those who speak it or are otherwise touched by it; as the mainstream culture’s historically derisive lens on Mexico and Mexicanos became more intense and hostile in many places, preaching hatred to a virulent degree, I knew I had to grab a hold of that firehose of energy, and help filter and redirect the flow of news, opinion, metaphor, imagery, and storytelling. The world was being made more dangerous for my people, and for me.

This is the terrain from which grows all the content and action launched from my blog The Unapologetic Mexican today. These are the issues that can be found informing the articles I write, the videos I make, the art I produce. The themes of values in culture, symbolism in media, messaging in news copy or slant; racism; human rights; identity; ethnicity; language, power; history; community; self. The day I began my blog was hardly a first step to empowerment and self-awareness. It was an important one, though, making possible many subsequent steps.

When I present at the  Transforming Race Conference in March, I will speak about these themes and in what way I’ve been able to engage them, to make change; about the four years I have been keeping this blog, and all the ways in which it aided me in reclaiming a feeling of pride, and a greater understanding of how I can support and inform and empower the communities to which I belong.

New Media is nothing by itself; it is a hammer without the dream of the carpenter; a garden hose on a hot, arid, dusty day. All alone, New Media is but form awaiting function. But given you can access it to a reasonable degree, you can stop being a passive imbiber of the media and all its messaging. You don’t have to shout at the screen, you can speak your reply or alternate view from the screen, too. You need not rest at bemoaning the media’s slant because you have a greater ability to replace it. And you can add your strength to a purpose enjoined by many, and together, affect our common society.

This new format we call “blog” is not like a pad of paper; not like a radio station, not like a community bulletin board, not like a classroom, nor a movie theater, nor a newspaper, nor a meeting room. It is all these things and more.

My father said “in my day it was mimeographs and in yours it is la bloga.” He was speaking of  the activism begun in El Chicano Movimiento, the era from which the poem Yo Soy Joaquín sprung forth.  It is no longer 1967, it is now 2010. The shape of la lucha transforms, but the struggle remains at hand:

Like a sleeping giant it slowly
Rears its head
To the sound of
Tramping feet
Clamoring voices
Mariachi strains
Fiery tequila explosions
The smell of chile verde and
Soft brown eyes of expectation for a
Better life.

And in all the fertile farmlands,
the barren plains,
the mountain villages,
smoke-smeared cities,
we start to MOVE.

La raza!
Méjicano!
Español!
Latino!
Chicano!

Or whatever I call myself,
I look the same
I feel the same
I cry
And
Sing the same.

I am the masses of my people and
I refuse to be absorbed.

In the four years I’ve written my blog, I’ve educated myself and others. I’ve enjoined the national conversation, and been invited on panels of web influencers, and into progressive fellowships. I’ve found friends with the same interests, and together we’ve organized sites and groups to work together on issues that concern our communities. I’ve written and co-written pieces that have made it into print. I’ve had my blog used in college courses, and my videos in high school classes by teachers who found my writing online.  I’ve had librarians request copies. I’ve launched a weekly web show that is sponsored and that exists to support and empower and inform the Latino/a community. I’ve been employed as a columnist on immigration, and flown to various states to speak on these issues, and to accept awards for groups I’ve helped found. And all this, in place of fuming in the living room, hiding behind a phony name, or otherwise letting the fickle currents of the day sweep you wherever they may.

We are the new media. We are the new voice resounding with the old truths. We are the culture changing. And throughout all these changes, we are still right here and moving forward.

________________

Also posted at the Race Talk blog; written at the request of the Kirwan Institute for the Study of Race and Ethnicity’s Media Relations Manager to help promote the Kirwan Institute’s Transforming Race Conference, at which I’ll be presenting in March.

Note: I wrote this as a prelude to the presentation. Not a mirror of it. This part of the story is very much about identity, about my personal journey…and that’s part of the story of this blog, and relevant to an Institute on the Study of Ethnicity. But I don’t want my presentation, itself, to be so much about the empowerment of one person. I don’t think that’s such an important or original story to tell. Or enough people are telling it already, we could say. Of course it’s an important story to me! We all want to thrive, we all want to better ourselves and our situations. But my presentation Unexpected Pathways to Empowerment will be focused more on how New Media can enable our community–any community–to become more empowered, and how many of us can tap into that and help it to happen. To me, today, that’s an important distinction to make. And connecting people to work for causes that aren’t part of the individualist recipe for success (and thus benefit a greater amount of people) is more important (especially these days) than any one person becoming well-read or well-known.

THIS MAY HAVE BEEN the hardest news I’ve had to sit on for a full week, ever. I’m ecstatic to announce that after a written application that daunted any I’ve filled out yet, a phone interview and a bit of waiting, I’ve won a scholarship to the 2010 Narco News School of Authentic Journalism this coming Febrero, on the Yucatán peninsula.

From Narco News:

They work or hail from 24 countries across the five major continents. They investigate and write news reports, create documentary films and viral videos, and among them are up-and-coming pioneers of Internet journalism. Many of them do that through multiple forms of media. They hush the imposed silences from above and make the voices from below heard. They are aged 18 to 65, from diverse economic, social, political and demographic backgrounds. And each one’s experiences are compelling and unique.

…

Thankfully, none of these talents of conscience need me or anyone else to speak for them. They were chosen because they are already maestros at presenting themselves and the stories they report and care deeply about.

As you read a little about them here, please think about supporting them – as individuals and as a group – so that each can fully realize his and her scholarship and become even better, faster and more coherent than they already are at this work.
Everybody complains about the media, and for good reason. Here are the people who, together with the Narco News Team and our amazing roster of volunteer professors, are doing something about it.

Ladies and gentlemen: It is my distinct honor to present to you… The future.

Al Giordano
President School of Authentic Journalism

and en español:

Ellos y ellas trabajan o provienen de 24 países de América, África, Europa y Asia. Investigan y escriben reportes, crean documentales y videos viral, y entre todos son las promesas del periodismo en Internet. Muchos de ellos lo hacen a través de múltiples medios de comunicación. Desafían el silencio impuesto desde arriba y permiten que las voces de abajo sean escuchadas. Sus edades oscilan entre los 18 y 65 años de edad, y provienen de distintos orígenes económicos, sociales, políticos y demográficos. Y las experiencias de cada uno son absorbentes y únicas.

…

Afortunadamente, ninguno de estos talentos con conciencia me necesitan a mí o a ningún otro para hablar por ellos. Fueron escogidos porque ya son maestros al presentarse a sí mismos y a las historias que reportan y por las que se preocupan profundamente.

Al leer un poco acerca de ellos aquí, por favor considere en apoyarles—como individuos y como grupo—para que cada uno pueda cumplir plenamente su beca y pueda ser mejor, más rápido y más coherente de lo que ya son en su trabajo.

Todo el mundo se queja de los medios de comunicación, y por una buena razón. Aquí están las personas que, junto con el Equipo de Narco News y nuestra asombrosa lista de profesores voluntarios, están haciendo algo al respecto.

Damas y caballeros: Es para mí un claro honor el presentar a ustedes… El futuro.

Al Giordano
Presidente, Escuela de Periodismo Auténtico

Long time readers will, no doubt, understand much about my feelings on winning this without my having to speak too much of it. I guess I’ve competed for and won a few things here and there, been lucky enough to have a couple opportunities. This little trip and bit of education I’ll receive—direct and incidental—interests and excites me more than anything I can remember for a while.

One of the reminders of other lands and people to which I am related that I kept close to my heart when younger (aside from the food my abuela would prepare, and the language that some of my family used) were fotos of the Lacandón people (that my father took), and books he wrote after visiting the Southern reaches and jungles and indigenous peoples of México in his twenties. But that’s all so ethereal. This is air I need to breathe for a little while. Those are skies I need to be under. There is sand, soil, and stone I need to have under my feet. That said, I welcome wherever this path may lead and I don’t expect a lot aside from to see what México wants to show me for herself.

That’s the México part of it. That’s the history and identity and familia part of it. On the journalism angle, this is also wildly exciting. Narco News is one outlet I’ve long respected (and there isn’t a ton of them out there doing what they do) as they report news from México that feels real, and does not pass through the typical grimy lens that US MSM employs almost every time it reports on her. I am looking forward to being part of Narco News in even a minimal way. It is an honor and a challenge I hope to meet well.

You know, I got into this ‘New Media” movement incidentally. Never set out to do it, did not breeze in with some org or company or site looking to capitalize on NEW MEDIA or UNDERSTAND THE NEW TERRAIN OF JOURNALISM or any of that. It has all been extremely organic in my case. I just used the Internet to disseminate my art, once I saw the potential there in 1999 or so. Found LJ and then hopped off to a blog in 2003. And then did that for a while without a specific focus aside from my music. I had three blogs. One private, one political and public, one geared to my music.

And then in 2006 I focused. And that’s when I began writing The Unapologetic Mexican. Here I am now in the midst of this New Media movement, and honestly I also feel honored to find myself where I am. Able to take advantage of opportunities here, be part of this new essence of journalism, and I’ve reached the goal I had when I began: to push back on the racist messaging that was everywhere and to insert my own views on my people and people like me into the stream of media conversation. My purposes have grown since then, and are not entirely vested in my individual welfare or plight quite as much.

Today, I understand I have a responsibility to employ each and every power and privilege and talent and skill with every ounce of mobility and energy I possess in confronting, exposing, and righting the imbalances and injustices in our world. It sounds pretentious, I know. It probably is. Damn arrogant Mexicans. But something like this trip/curriculum makes me happy because as Al G said in his intro to the 31 winners, through the opportunity I can become even more efficient, coherent in my messaging, and more effective in my role. And that brings me a joy deep in my being, where that restlessness and agitation inflamed by the evils of our society and world lives.

It’s very possible I am simply humming like a tuning fork with the moment, as I am wont to do in my artist role. But I see this as a possible pivot point from where I can step up my goals, actions, and reach. Let’s see how it plays out. This trip threatens to be the most photographed and recorded and tweeted one ever, though. I know that!

Another thing I’m used to doing when I am fortunate enough to gain a scholarship or membership to some kind of selected group is looking around at the other winners to gauge what kind of crowd I’m in. And honestly, this is one crazy crowd of talent. I am also humbled to be part of the group…and it takes a lot to make me feel humble (again, as my readers already know . I will definitely be soaking up info and lore and craft from any one of these people I can. I can’t even imagine the levels of creative energy gonna be gathered in this one spot. Wow.

Finally, I’ll be posting the link to my individual scholarship fund now and then until February. I know we are all struggling out here, but if you are in the position to help fund my trip, I’d be grateful of course.

WHEN DEALING WITH LAW, always remember that police train in intimidating people and they lie as a matter of their everyday behavior. They not only know that ignorance of the law does not entitle you to break it, but they feel that your ignorance of the law paves the way for them to personally fool you about what the law is and then use state power to punish you for falling into their trap. When I was first told of police as a young boy (in school), I briefly made an erroneous link in my mind between “justice” in the sense of hired law vs actual Justice. At that age, too, my own family countered that message with other ones which were far more accurate and finally at 17 I was disabused of the notion completely by an intense experience that shunted me into the system.

Make no mistake: Police are state-employed gun and electric torture-device wielders who, in most cases (enough that it’s safest to assume it of all of them), believe that they have the moral and legal right to lie to you and treat you however they want, even tasering and consequently killing you if they feel like it. (While we are here, I will remind you if you are innocent (and obviously even if not) to never speak to police in any instance and to be smart about transporting your mota.) [Insert favorite disclaimer here about Police Also Save Lives, Rescue Kittens, etc.]

So as you can see, I have no bias. That said, a compa (Carlos Galindo) sent me this video of our friends over at the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office (whom I talk about in this video short on 287(g)) getting a bit uptight as they hassle Latino vendors at El Gran Mercado. And why wouldn’t they? In case it’s been lost in all the shuffle, it’s not only morally wrong to racially profile, it is against the law.

Note first how they speak quite authoritatively, telling Carlos what to do and what the law is. They lie. If he were to have believed them, it would have ended after the first question. But he knows his rights here (mostly, some he had to learn after or through the experience, which is always a great teacher!) and he refuses to give up his camera. Note the cop backs off.

Later it gets fun when the nasty bully strips away the veneer and makes it clear how he sees the world.

Here’s what Carlos wrote to me:

The Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office took my camera and deleted all the files even though I identified myself as a member of the media trying to record in a public place. They violated my first amendment rights. Dan Barr a Phoenix Constitutional rights attorney saw the video listed below and says my first amendment rights were violated. They also violated my 4th amendment right in failing to have probable cause for search and seizure, nor did they execute a sworn warrant to take my camera.

Unbeknownst to the lying bullies with badges, you can recover your data with software.

Also unbeknownst to the MCSO, a second camera was (not aimed at much but the ground) but was recording the aftermath. Note what sounds like small bursts of electricity from some device (Tazer gun?) as things unwind.

“Don’t argue with me about your civil rights.”
—Cop

You know what is more powerful than racist and renegade law? All of us. With our cameras. And knowing our rights.

Keep on. Carlos, you are doing a service to the community. You are part of the Real Media—one that works in service of the People. What a refreshing change.

THE ONLY WAY I AM ABLE to keep traveling to conferences and conventions and expos and such is that I am lucky enough to hit virtual jackpots and am flown via scholarships or other such jazztastic happenstance (not to mention the help from my friends along the way) and I am grateful in each instance for the honors, as well as the opportunities. These trips are expensive and many do not get to attend. Were it not for America’s Voice this year, I’d not, either.

I am proud today to thank America’s Voice for awarding me one of their eight scholarships to attend Netroots Nation 2009 as an Immigration Blogger.

As usual, if you live in the area, drop me a line. Maybe I’ll see you there!

BACK UP IN THE UMX HIZZY, I now pen this missive to thee.

Dear Blog: Thank you for your patience whilst I’ve been flying about the nation, and thank you for all the good blog we is about to do. And let me go no further without also thanking you, dear reader and friend of the UMX tribe, for you (and you know who you are) have been kind and generous in helping your dear narrator, Nezua, to sail through 30,000 foot heights and descend, both feet outstretched, to land happy and hungry in a delicious Mexican restaurant or perhaps sunshine poolside where I be fotographed by La Opinion and interviewed by brilliant journalists about Wut It Iz Nez Do, alone or With Tha Crew.

That is to say, thank you for the donations and the support in all the ways you bring it. Because this world can be lonely and hard, like concrete under ya heed when you prefer fluffed pillow, and sometimes just one sooty warm draft of love makes it all okay. And it’s true that I sealed up a new job or two right before I took off on the trip to Atlanta (including [but not exclusively, oh squiniddy-eyed wordsmith!] new supercool art to be shown soon that I did for Latino Pundit), but the donations that came in while I was on the road brought a huge amount of comfort, and especially on the last night, when there ended up being a lack.

And now the story. And mind you, new readers, this is the story of my trip, of the get up go fly, smile into bright light, come down and hold-on grip. Not the story of The Sanctuary, per se. That one is told on other days and if  you need to catch up on the backstory page, visit The Sanctuary at ProMigrant.Org to see what is at the heart of this award show journey.

So.

How to tell such a story? What is the important part? But there are so many! And so often not what you are thinking, never what you have thought. You fly without a why and even without trying you return with twice as much of what you never sought. OH! I need a beat. But in lieu of this, let me touch upon some moments that may bring the Nezlanta heat.

[BOOMING VOICE] It began….in Oregon.

Oh WHAT? You really expect me to tell the whole story from when I left? Naw…there’s no point in that. Because the story doesn’t even begin there. We are always on the Continued tip. Eh?

But let me just saw WOW it’s a long trip to Atlanta, Georgia from Eugene, Oregon. I got so frustrated with the direction, the wanderingness one must take to get to another place. I know that’s how it works, especially when you don’t live near a major city, but even from PDX to Atlanta, the whole trip takes such a zigzag estilo to get where you’re going it just feels a bit stupid when you’re doin’ it. I took cab to train station and then Amtrak 3 hours north and then a plane south and then a plane East, and so on. But you know how this goes. So I’ll skip all that. But it took me a full day traveling to get to Atlanta. Woke up at 3:30 am to catch a 4:10 cab and didn’t get into my hotel room in Georgia until about 11:30 that night.

Oh, what? You heard me speak in Atlanta on blogging and New Media? And now aren’t sure how to reconcile some of what I said with how I’m running this little copper-wired circus? Well, let me interruptus and say that while I did lay down some general guidelines on What Propels a Blog Forward, there are always exceptions. And a lot has to do with the way you set up your situation and “what line you come in on.” By now, my readers know by now not to expect any hard format, nor do I worry about the length of my posts, nor do I feel a need to write every day so COME ON and just let Nez be Nez!

I met a Xicano in the bar the first night who turned out to be my first useful networking contact (and this is what I wrote on the sticker I promptly stuck to his chest so none of us forgot our places in the story). He works for the US Census and asked me “not to Tweet him” which of course was just his male way of trying to dampen his natural response to my irresistible sexiness and I smiled to show how much I appreciated his self control. I told him I just might consider going door to door in Latin@ neighborhoods for a low price of $16/hr if he would only teach me how to maintain such a suave demeanor in the face of glory. And so perhaps at some point we shall pick up that angle of the story. But for the moment, Nez said lata and took his swirly stomach full of Mini-Chicken sandwiches and scotch and crashed out in his fluffy cotton bed like a moss-covered Oregon stone.

Atlanta was hot.

My part of Atlanta was cramjammed full of smart, energized, accomplished people. It was very heady because of that, not to mention all the free wine and accolades heaped upon your for simply saying a few true things when it’s your turn in the light. These things mean a lot to me. The heat, the wine, the light. But don’t you ever think that Nezua doesn’t keep in mind the rest of the picture. Oh, you can forget it if you want, it’s not your job to narrate, it’s mine. But I’ll remind you. Part of the reason I play such a joker is because I know the joke’s on me when I don the King’s robe and finery. And I lean toward the Queen’s fur(s) and I cannot help but purr when the glint from her orbs paints reflections on my spurs—don’t be scurred!

But let me be mundane-grimey and a bit unrhymey for a moment and say that what I mostly got out of this trip was a) gratitude for having a home (perhaps a bit on this later, perhaps not, we’ll see) and an appreciation for the movements happening and people involved in “Ethnic Media.” We could say “Ethnic Media” but what I saw were lots of smart, dedicated, with-it, restless, happy activist-human types. Yeah, true, they gave off a different air than some of the bastions of progressisivsm® I’ve seen floating through the pie-crust blogostrata, but was this due to ethnicity? Well, perhaps indirectly. Meaning perhaps due to mindsets/convictions/agendas born from a marginalized experience in this culture. Perhaps not. I can’t rule on that. I know in some cases it surely couldn’t be that factor. But from all corners, I saw sparkling eyes and heart pouring forth. I felt it. I listened to an older woman talk to me about her filmmaking in the south, she lilted fire in a very gentle way, but there was steel in every syllable. She was ‘white’ and determined to expose the ICEcrimination going on in her state.

I met Kai Ma, who was another award winner who writes of the Korean American experience. Clearly a person bristling with electricity and joy and bound to keep shaking things up in the world. She spoke to me, too, after my panel on New Media about blogging. She and her compas will be busting out into blog world and it sounds like they are jazzed up enough and understand the blogosphere enough that they are gonna max it out. I’ll be looking for her work. Mostly because people with a certain energy in their eyes draw me in, and it has nothing to do with gender.

That look was in a lot of eyes there, energized by the possibilities—”winners” or not.

The two cats who create Debug Magazine (“Culture Without Borders”) had that same light in their eyes, and we’ll be hooking up, as they want to mix up blog with mag, and I told them I was down cuz I am! So….all of this. Energy, truth, lucha, media, self-empowered writers and truth-seekers and it had everything to do with feeling the change you want to see in the world is actually and literally within your reach. Hearts respond. And recognize one another. I know I’m gushing! Don’t harsh my joyful debriefing!

I’ll be watching Claudia Nuñez, whom I had never heard of but am now fully impressed by. Not just for her important and laudable work of uncovering a labor trafficking ring that ran from México to the US, but for her methods. She is the quintessential “intrepid” reporter, not taking no for an answer, not whining or slowing down when gaps open up in her plan, but leaping forward and tracking down anything she needs to to make that story happen. I love this…energy and determination and lean toward the DO in a person, regardless of where or how I see it. And I know from her award-winning story that she embodies this, but I did see a micro example of this in my personal meetings with her. So let me tell you about that.

After we all spoke at the banquet, (I’m told that) her boss at La Opinion told her that they “must” do a story on me and how I came to the Sanctuary situation, and having no idea of where to find me or anything, she shows up at midnight or so on the 70-something floor of a rotating bar in Atlanta where I was chilling with Roberto Lovato, Zach Taylor, Erin Polgreen, (the accomplished and dazzingly beautiful) @NeelanjanaB, y otros, and arranges an interview with me. (I have to admit, strong Chicanas who know what they want and move for it without excuses or appearances/pretenses of vaguery definitely disarm me, but that’s a side note.) So the next day, I don’t hear from her at the time we set and I thought that’s odd, but just went out on the Cigar Terrace and began reading and, well, Twittering! I was just killing time before my panel on New Media.

Claudia tracks me down, even though I never told her where I was staying or anything. I felt bad that I had not seen my voicemail notice and had put her out of her way. But again, was impressed by her P.I. work. And suddenly felt that anything she was looking for in the world would not be safe from her eyes; she is like an eagle! And that is to our benefit, all of ours. Not because she is writing stories on self-important Xicanos who embrace their heritage and try to make change for raza, but because she is uncovering dangers and exploitations in the world and clearly, very effectively. But yes, I sort of fell for her, as you can tell. It was the heart, again. She didn’t hesitate to ask me controntational things like “Don’t you worry people will think you are in a gang?” because of my ink and elements of my dress. But at the same time, she also wasn’t afraid to spill her heart in words about my blogtivity (en español for a torrential paragraph of sincere comment and I was lucky that my Spanish is “good” enough to be able to keep up with what she was saying) and let me see it in her eyes. That soul shining through again.

There was a lot of this energy in Atlanta (I even ended up laughing and hugging the bouncer at a club one night, this is a whole other story!) and I drank it up like it was sunlight. Claudia impressed me as she interviewed me because she didn’t just ask bullet-point questions or easy followups, but was connecting thoughts deeper and indirect and all content/agenda-related and then thinking forward and hitting me with a question that demanded honesty simply because I was unprepared for its orginality. By the time we reached the end of the interview, I knew I was in very competent hands and I was not being careful, but just engaging. It felt like being interviewed by a sculptor who was shaping a piece hands flying, smeared smock on, crazy vision dancing in the eyes. Beads and sky and blood and sand and US woven Mexicana pride.

I mention Roberto Lovato and he is another fount of soul-power that I refresh and recharge on. He wastes no time in appeasing ignorance or catering to fools, but all the while he is fueling his fuego, there is a smile playing on his lips. El gato is at home in his world, he is finding joy en la lucha. He dips calamari and spits historical on characters in his current book, on the “guevara prototype” and a wise person hears him out. He is one of the few men I know worth listening to at length. Hey, what can I say? I’m biased in a few ways. Anyway, we work together on the regular as it is, but connecting in that human way does so much and I’m convinced it doesn’t make sense to pronounce ANYONE a serious compa or even antagonist without first meeting and chewing on some Calamari. But then again, that’s my bias regarding virtual relationships, too. It’s just what I’ve learned and keep learning. For me.

I could go on. And on. I have a fistful of business cards and I’ve already written the list of them. I did not take home a card that I was not excited to hold, and I was excited about getting each one. From the director of La Noticia to Roshani Kothari of OneWorld to David Kobia of Ushahidi—these meetings are undoubtedly one of the most valuable resources that can come out of events like this. It’s like shopping for sweeteners and skimming directly to the mapled-down essence atop a tubful of sap. Oh, don’t take that the wrong way, my superfine sugary friends who weren’t at the Expo; the converse is most definitely not implied.

And now let me close out by saying muchisimas gracias and stank you one last time to New America Media for the honor and award, and the recognition bestowed on our little group The Sanctuary. It really is a fantastic accolade and we are all very proud of it.

And of course—when life sees fit to pump up your shoes with hot helium neon halo juice, mama nature will be sure to stroke your hair kindly and then kick you to the curb to keep you humbly.

Which is how the magnificent story ends of course. With me walking all night in a strange city with 45 pounds on my back, except for an hour I slept on the concrete. I won’t be one of those whiners, because of course, I knew from the first day I had no ride home from the return flight airport. There was really nothing I could do. It was, in the end, the most sensible ticket to buy. Watcha gonna do? It was part of the deal, and I used the night to reap gratitude, although as a friend reminded me, no: I really had no idea how it would end. But I’m ready for the flux and again, this is why awards and events like this—while so good for the soul in certain amounts—are only part of a recipe. Breathe deep en la cocina. Keep the nostrils open, keep the mind open. Good with the bad, big shot with the stinky midnight lowlife, glare of flash and click of shutters vs. 4 am reflux and muscular exhaustion and desire to weep you’re so tired.

And it’s good to be home. It’s good to have one. Peace! But not before Justice.

I AM HAPPY to announce that The Sanctuary (ProMigrant.Org) will be receiving an award that, in 2006, Hillary Rodham Clinton described as  “the equivalent of the “Pulitzer Prize” for journalism (including New Media this year) in ethnic media! I leave it to politicians wielding impressive phraseology for various reasons to convince you that the award is quite that important, but nonetheless. We are very proud to be recognized for the work we do at our little human rights agenda community.

I will be in Atlanta, Georgia for the NAM National Ethnic Media Expo & Awards event June 3 -5 to receive this award on behalf of my compas and separately, to do some talking on New Media as I’ve learned to use it and think of it.

If you live nearby, holla at me so we can meet up! And of course, gracias to New America Media. You cats do some fine work, and moreover, ya sure know a good thing when you see it.

Crossposted to The Sanctuary

NCLR ANNUAL CONFERENCE, 2009, CHICAGO

MAYBE YOU REMEMBER, Dear Reader, the last time I was in Chi-Town, which was for the Netroots Nation Convention (Ykos ’07) as one of the “Chicago 17,” and quite the adventure that was! (I have yet to finish putting together the little documentary film on it I will release later this year, but hold tight, amigos and have faith, for I shall deliver.)

July 25 – 29, your pal Nez is heading back to the lovely ciudad de Chi-ca-go for the NCLR Annual Conference to speak on a panel about New Media strategy and application as I have experienced it. Technically, de verdad, by now I am “expert” on this situation (I squirm away from that word in general) and have been flown out to speak on it before now, even before I worked for MTV’s Street Team which was founded and arranged around exploring of this “New Media” thing as well. But mostly, I’ve gained my knowledge of New Media simply by using it as it came along, to further other ends I had. It’s been a very organic process, and I feel good about that.

I guess this is why I sometimes laugh at the fact that it’s become so formalized with panels and sessions and papers and articles…but I want to make it clear that it’s not about belittling that fact, and not in a way where I don’t get it, I do. The laugh i…for life, and how (as John said) “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” And okay, I admit there is just something funny-odd about watching it become so academic. But I definitely don’t knock the attention to New Media, cuz New Media as such is…not just ways of staying in touch with amigos or broadcasting a message, or creating a route along which you can guide others to awareness or movement, or telling a story. It’s also the new Library; the new Book, the new Phone, the new Newspaper. (Nuance Reminder: I am not saying to be the “New” one, that the old one need COLLAPSE in thirty minutes….)

So, sure, I’ve had time to think about all this and I will definitely organize my thoughts succinctly for the people at the conference and do my best to earn my schwag by blogging while there (and, yes, Tweeting, too. Probably getting some i-Fone video to ya via Qik, and will be auditioning the new Mental-Skype WiFi Alpha software.

Joining me on the panel will be some srsbznss activists/entrepreneurial spirit. Firstly, XP of XicanoPwr.com (who I’ve known so long out here that I made the banner for his first site, as well as his second), amiga Kety Esquivel, New Media maven over at NCLR (also pictured here, on my left and not in a fedora), Raven Brooks, executive director for Netroots Nation, and Jill Garvey, of Center for New Community. I should also note that Kety and XP are co-founding editors of The Sanctuary along with myself.

I thank NCLR for this opportunity, and am glad to share what I can with who attends and knock elbows with some blogmigos. This is some hardcore talent reppin’, and I’m honored to be among them. I will list their bios below. And if you live in Chi-Town and wanna meet up for a cerveza and a terrorist fist jab or something, drop me a line!

[PS: Here's hoping I can hit this museum this time around]

Get the Buzz on Exciting New Media Techniques

Online technology offers community-based organizations timely, cost-effective opportunities to reach activists, journalists, volunteers, donors, and others.  Not just a trend of the future, online communications are thriving right now through search engines, blogs, social networking sites, action alert services, video and information-sharing websites, and other innovative technologies.  Come learn about how your organization can use this interactive, participatory new media—including blogs, Craigslist, Facebook, action alerts, YouTube, and podcasts—to build fresh communications strategies and strengthen constituent support.  No technical experience is necessary!  Participants will:

·      Learn about online communications tools available at minimal or no cost
·      Gain insight into which online techniques will best meet your goals
·      Receive materials and recommendations for further resources

Jill Victoria Garvey joined the Center for New Community in 2007 and manages the Center’s communications and operations activities. She also serves as the managing editor for the CNC-affiliated blog, Imagine 2050. A journalism student from Columbia College Chicago, Jill studied business management at Harold Washington College and Northwestern University. Jill has worked extensively with non-profit organizations both professionally and as a volunteer. Committed to addressing economic and social discrimination barriers in childhood and youth development, she has worked in the public school system, coordinating elementary early childhood programs. After living in Brooklyn, NY, Jill returned to her native Chicago two years ago. She has enjoyed the opportunity to travel extensively, most recently studying Spanish in Peru and Argentina.

Raven Brooks is the executive director for Netroots Nation. Brooks got his start in politics by co-founding and leading BuyBlue.org, a revolutionary website that encouraged consumers to “vote with their wallets.” Brooks has a strong background in software development and design, management, business consulting, and project management. Fortune 100 companies and small start-ups have sought out his expertise. Brooks has been featured in countless media outlets as a visionary entrepreneur. He lives in San Francisco, CA, with his wife and two cats and is an avid cyclist, hiker, and outdoor enthusiast.

Amaury Nora a social worker and editor and publisher of the blog XicanoPwr.com, under the pen name, where he tackles issues on immigration, Latino politics, social justice, international affairs, public policy, and humanitarianism issues. During the two years he has been blogging, he was awarded the 2007 Texas Progressive Alliance’s Silver Star and is considered as “one of the state’s most prominent Latino bloggers” by the Texas Progressive Alliance, an alliance of bloggers, blogs and progressive Netroots activists working together to further the progressive cause. He also was awarded the 2008 40 Under 40 Emerging Leaders by New Leaders Council. Amaury has over eight years experience in community development, program evaluation and outcome measurement.

Kety Esquivel has over ten years of experience in the non-profit, private and political sectors.  She directed Latino outreach for the Clark Presidential Campaign.  Her work has taken her to China; and Ethiopia with UNECA.  She spent three years coaching executives on human capital and diversity in the US, Canada and Latin America.  Esquivel graduated from Cornell University where she served on the Board of Trustees.  She is a published author and the founder of www.CrossLeft.org.  She is a co-founder of the Institute of Progressive Christianity and the Sanctuary,www.promigrant.org.  Esquivel has served on several boards, including that of the Backbone Campaign and the New Leaders Council.  She has been a speaker at Netroots Nation, SXSW and the Center for New Words.  Her commentary has been featured and quoted in stories for the Wall St. Journal Online, HITN, PBS, XM radio, CNN, Televisa and Univision.  She is currently the New Media Manager for NCLR (the National Council of La Raza).