The Oft-Repeated Prayer for a Whiter Christmas Dinner

AS DISCUSSED IN RECENT POSTS, I think it is not a great idea to run after every fragment of inanity spewed forth by the irrational actors of the day. It bedazzles the mind and tricks the body into thinking someTHING is being done, and in the meantime just sort of bends your aura toward chaos just a bit too much. The whole battling/becoming monsters thing.

But this midnight bolony-sandwich epiphany by George Will cracked me up:

An argument to be made about immigrant babies and citizenship

A simple reform would drain some scalding steam from immigration arguments that may soon again be at a roiling boil. It would bring the interpretation of the 14th Amendment into conformity with what the authors of its text intended, and with common sense, thereby removing an incentive for illegal immigration.

To end the practice of “birthright citizenship,” all that is required is to correct the misinterpretation of that amendment’s first sentence: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside.” From these words has flowed the practice of conferring citizenship on children born here to illegal immigrants.

That’s all! Nothin’ at all! A breeeeze.

By offering this as a way of “drain[ing] some scalding steam from immigration arguments that may soon again be at a roiling boil” Will is saying that before we have this discussion, the country ought do a “simple” reinterpretation of the 14th Amendment that brings citizenship into the light of the George F Will day. Why not, right? Why not simply appease the anti-immigrant crowd before any discussion can be had. Makes sense. While we’re at it, let’s also reinterpret the occupation of the Middle East as a Hug-Circle With Guns and spend a few billion more on drones and tanks before we tackle any discussion on whether or not the wars we wage are destroying our nation’s ability to thrive. Also, I vote tyhat the next time Manny Pacquiao fights, he should let his opponent smack him in the ribs a few times before the bell rings.

I’d call Mister Will’s having the lack of sense to launch this collection of letters into the blogosphere ballsy, but I could never in good conscience assume as much about the individual.

But let’s slow for a moment here.

To end the practice of “birthright citizenship,” all that is required is to correct the misinterpretation of that amendment’s first sentence: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside.”

From these words has flowed the practice of conferring citizenship on children born here to illegal immigrants.

And we see him tip his hand. Because that’s not the only way to size it up, is it? Is it really all about ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS? (Who must, of course, always be involved in much flowing and flooding, because that’s just what tides of foreign people do!) Clearly it is, for the Midnight Ham-N-Cheeser.

Let’s ask successful American pundit Michelle Malkin how she, for one, feels about Georgie’s Bright Idea. Had it been in place at the time of her birth, she’d never have been allowed US citizenship, and so her success owes much to the fact that our laws do bestow citizenship on children of foreign parents who are born here. Even a child born here while their parents are only briefly visiting, or on temporary VISAs, is legally a US citizen. I say good! Hey! It’s where you were born. Get it? It’s where you entered this reality called Living On Earth as A Human Being. And damn, it ought to mean something if you were born somewhere. That in some way you belong to that land, and it belongs to you. Not to mention how many bright and successful people, in particular, are children of immigrants!

But hell, Mister Wee Hour Kitchen Snack clearly retains a certain image of the USA and who is native and who is foreign. Despite any other trifling factors like the 14th Amendment and how it has faithfully been interpreted for years. In fact…is Mister Will arguing that laws often need to be reexamined in the light of current and modern conditions? I’d say he is! I’d say he makes a good case a rejoinder to all those who screech ILLLEEEGULZ; that we must not bear down now to enforce our current body of unworkable and outdated immigration laws, but rather that they must be reexamined in the light of modern and current situational challenges to our nation.

And while we’re at it, I must point out that these writers and talkers who actually mean to say THE USA IS BECOMING TOO MEXICAN will not be taken seriously or afforded a modicum of respect from my cocina until they learn to speak their minds. Say what you mean, Chicken Broth.

Let’s simmer away the fat from Porgie’s Pudding:

The explicit exclusion of Indians from birthright citizenship was not repeated in the 14th Amendment because it was considered unnecessary. Although Indians were at least partially subject to U.S. jurisdiction, they owed allegiance to their tribes, not the United States. This reasoning — divided allegiance — applies equally to exclude the children of resident aliens, legal as well as illegal, from birthright citizenship.

Divided allegiance. Mister Will is especially concerned with the potential of divided allegiance in those born in the USA whose parents were born elsewhere. And whose potential divided allegiance troubles Mister Will? Immigrants from Ireland? From Scotland? From Poland? From the UK? From France? From Iceland? From Sweden? Bet ya can’t guess!

Congress has heard testimony estimating that more than two-thirds of all births in Los Angeles public hospitals, and more than half of all births in that city, and nearly 10 percent of all births in the nation in recent years, have been to mothers who are here illegally.

It really isn’t hard to suss out—the ole Dobbs Derangement Syndrome. Yet another old white rich GeeOhPee-sian whose hold on his own fears and mental processing was lain to waste by 9/11 and who now trembles at the thought of the inexorable ENEMY WITHIN, viewing all brown people as foreign invaders and potential moles and enemies of the state. Nevermind the reality of the past few years. Talk about divided allegiance, yow!

I’m slowly stirring The Floofmatic SoupSipper’s metaphor about avoiding the ROILING BOIL and DRAINING SCALDING STEAM from the pot, and sniffing it out. What’s for dinner, George? The only goose being cooked is the apparition—that is the destructive illusion—of white dominance. Your suggestion is one that made me laugh because when we talk about the Last Gasp of Whiteness to be uttered in these next 50—? many years, it is just this: a breathy, rank wind that will only continue to sour and seize up the brain cells of typists like yourself.

George F Will’s Someone’s in the Kitchen With My Deus Ex Machina post feels…so desperate. I can almost hear his mind as he lay there in the dark, cooking it up. Twitchy sad eyes fixed upon a Norman Rockwell painting as they grow droopy with sleep….Good lord…there must be some way of having less Mexicans in this country…please God…don’t let it all be for naught….I want my country back…..I want my country baaaaaa