A Candle for Angie
THIS IS TOO OFTEN, AN UNIMAGINATIVE AND CRUEL WORLD. Not that world which creation brings forth on her own (though we know not all things Natural are kind), but that which we fashion with the often half-benumbed hands of US culture.
THE MESSAGES we are taught—the ones that tell us how to be “men”, and how to be women”, who is Appealing, who is Weird, who to emulate, who to hate—they are dangerous directives and they become tragic, when good humans have to lose their lives behind such misguided norms. And they do so, and every day, and often, invisibly.
If nothing else, though, maybe we can use these moments to push hard for the steps forward we need to take. Nobody asks to become a face or symbol for a wave of awareness….sometimes fate hammers you into one, though.
The heinous murder of Angie Zapata provides us with one of those moments of shock that might be used to bring change and awareness. Angie was a transgendered woman who was murdered in cold blood by a “man” who felt so threatened by her self-acceptance that he had to eradicate it from the very Earth. He could not do that, of course, so he put away her body. And now society has put him away behind bars for life.
This is encouraging. But it won’t bring Angie Zapata back to the people who miss her so dearly:
As at odds as I’ve been with the gender typing/roles/expectations of heterosexual males in the US, I don’t know what living Angie’s life was like. But I don’t need to, to join in the fight for equal rights and treatment for transgendered—or any other type of persons. I just have to want for (people like) her what I want for myself. And I do.
I do know what it is like to be thought a freak; to hide what I am to make others like me more; to fail at that. I know what it’s like to feel that my truth is at odds with what most people think is Right, and I know how lonely that can be. And I know what it’s like to have violence come for you. I am grateful that I have my life today. And I promise to Angie that I will use some of it to do what I can in this fight.
Because more importantly, I do know what it’s like to fear what is not familiar to me and to my way of evaluating normalcy. I’ve made others feel less-than in my life before, behind this recoiling. I also know that we can overcome those immediate reflexes when we find them. We have an unfortunate tendency to focus on superficial differences. The tint of skin, the kink of hair, the shape of eyes, the shape of body, the sound of speech, the name of sex. But we don’t grow bigger or stronger by dividing ourselves that way…we just make ourself more alone. With less friends and support around us.
While my fight is often about raza, and those oppressed under the hands of racism, it is of course bigger than that, and always has been. It is definitely big enough to include Angie Zapata and those who share her story—be they Zapatas or Smiths.
Other writing on Angie Zapata:
Facebook Group for Angie Zapata
Vivir Latino: Angie Zapata & Social
MediaPam’s House Blend: Are People Like Angie and Me Being Deceptive?
Tags: Angie Zapata, Bigotry, Murder, Othering, Salud, Transgendered, Transmisogyny
Posted in Human Rights, Putos, Violence
thx nez. rip beautiful and brave angie. i lit a candle at home. i’m trying to get to the face book for the show of unity, but the process of joining always an eye roller for me.
well, i like the candle at home just as much.
bless you Angie. It’s amazing seeing her sisters speak in that video, the way their eyes light up when they’re remembering Angie. I know she is sorely missed.